Neeson is back as trucker Mike McCann in Ice Road: Vengeance. The film is neither offensively bad nor secretly brilliant; it just sort of exists. Still grieving his brother’s death from the first film, in this one, Mike takes a trip to Nepal to scatter the ashes of his brother on Mount Everest. Before he even reaches base camp, armed thugs hijacks his tour bus, turning the Kiwi Express into Speed on low oxygen. They want a young man seated two rows back, and apparently the easiest way to grab him is kidnapping an entire busload of tourists. Mike teams up with mountain guide Dhani (Fan Bingbing) and unleashes that patented Neeson combo of scowl, elbow, repeat. The man is pushing eighty yet still hurls goons through windows like an angry orangutan, though quick-cut editing hides most of the heavy lifting.
Here’s the first strange thing: the movie is called Ice Road, yet there is maybe thirty seconds of actual ice. Most of the runtime is dusty switchbacks, the inside of a cramped bus, and green-screen cliffs. Kathmandu looks suspiciously like Vancouver, and the so-called Himalayan vistas resemble a Windows XP wallpaper.
Story wise, it is by the numbers. Evil businessman wants to build a dam, villagers resist, crooked cops get paid off, and bullets fly. You have seen this outline in half of Neeson’s post-Taken catalog and the other half of Steven Seagal’s. The script tosses in a wisecracking Aussie driver, a phone-addicted teen who discovers nature once the shooting starts, and a de-aged cameo from Mike’s brother Gurty that looks like someone attacked the footage with a digital eraser. None of it sticks.
The action itself is serviceable. A inside the moving bus has a few creative stunts. Unfortunately, every punch is cut to ribbons, turning choreography into blender sludge. Gunfire appears to have been added in Microsoft Paint, and muzzle flashes blink like cheap fairy lights.
Yet I can’t say I hated the experience. Neeson injects just enough weary humor to keep things from feeling overly fake. Fan Bingbing brings charisma and a few slick kicks that outshine the choppily edited fights around her. The film never pretends to be profound, which helps; it aims for disposable Friday night entertainment and basically hits that modest target.
The pacing is the real culprit. Whole subplots about environmental protests and local politics could vanish without anyone noticing. Trim twenty minutes and Ice Road: Vengeance might have felt like a breezy B-movie throwback instead of a guest who overstay their welcome.
If you are a Neeson fan, there is enough grizzled charm to justify a cheap rental. The movie is not an ice-cold disaster, but it is not a road worth revisiting either. Call it a lukewarm layover to whatever movie Neeson shows up in next. Hopefully, it’s better than this one.
Screen Rated 